Outtake – a scene or sequence filmed or recorded for a movie or program but not included in the final version.
With a deadline looming this weekend I’ve had to stick to business and edit, edit, edit. That’s because, as usual, I used too many words to tell my work in progress, now with an official title, An Appalachian Summer. (The picture is a view of an Appalachian summer day.) The story needs to be between 90,000 to 100,000 words, a nice length for a book. But sometimes you have to keep writing until you find the end no matter that pesky word count in the bottom of your screen. So I did, knowing while I was writing that for every word I wrote I’d have to find a word later to cut.
I ended up with 118,369 words. Sigh. But it’s not really all bad. When you’re writing that first draft you have to just get the story told and worry later about telling it better. I like the editing part of writing when I’m trying to make the words slide along and disappear as the story plays out in the reader’s imagination. For it to do that, I have to cut all those times when I maybe had my characters thinking about the same things too much. I have to get rid of awkward or too wordy scenes. I want to make sure I use the exact right words and eliminate some of my pet words that I use to keep my thoughts rolling in that first draft. I can take out passive verbs and a lot of thats.
While editing, I can find many ways to tighten my writing, but in the process of ridding a story of 18,000 plus words, I have to cut a little deeper at times and take out paragraphs I like but that aren’t really vital to the story. This time I did something I’ve never done this before and that is I saved a few of those paragraphs. Nothing I could ever use again for another story. Verbal outtakes instead of filmed ones. But since I needed to find some words for this post and I happened to have these extras on my cutting floor, my thrifty self said why not share them with you. Those film outtakes are all over the internet.
So here goes. A few of the paragraphs I cut from my work in progress.
“I prefer the blossom patches to beans but it’s good to have both.” She looked out over the hillside. “I’m hoping the flags will still be sporting blooms when Mrs. Breckinridge gets back from her trip. I hear she’s on the way home. She’ll be ready for some resting time, but mark my words, she’ll walk out to check on her chickens and geese before she takes any rest. She does love her critters.”
Mrs. Miller looked across the hill to where a cow and calf were grazing. “Names them all, you know. Like they’re family. Guess as how I’ve known some critters I might rather claim as family than some that were.”
~~
Ginger came away from her puppies to watch Piper off while the puppies let up a howl. They were growing fast and getting fuzzy cute. Rusty came down the hill to trot along with Piper toward the river. He didn’t always go with Piper, but occasionally he would trail along when no rabbits wiggled their ears at him.
~~
A handsome woman was only a stutter step removed from poor soul, she missed out in the looks department.
~~
“I’m surprised his folks haven’t already been down here insisting he come home.”
“They do want him to come home, don’t they?”
Dr. Jack looked as though her question surprised him. “No worry there. Children are these people’s riches. His folks just don’t have the means to make the trip down here to Hyden all that often and they knew Billy was in good hands with us.
~~
“Do they know he’s coming home?”
“I sent word someone would bring him. They’ll be glad to have him home to help out with chores. With his leg better, he’ll be able to pull his weight.”
“At six?”
“At six. Children aren’t just for decoration up here in the mountains. They have to do their part on these hardscrabble farms.”
~~
But a cow? Horses, yes, but they didn’t have to be milked. They looked at a person with eyes that showed intelligence. Cows? The ones Piper had seen looked as though they didn’t think of anything but chewing their cuds.
~~
That’s a few of them. So what did you think? Was I right to let those end up on my cutting floor?
Now I need to get back to finding those other 5,000 words I still need to chop out to end up on my cutting floor. As always, thanks for reading.
