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Names and Nicknames

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Back in December I posted a piece called “What’s in a Name?” I was trying to decide on the names of the main characters in my work in progress. I did pick the female character’s name. I’ve changed the guy’s name four times now and I think I’m changing it again. Back on that post, I asked you how you liked my favored character name, Piper Jayne. I appreciated every comment, but Sandi went a step farther and shared her own piece “What’s in a Name?” It was fun to read, and with her permission, I’m sharing it with you. So welcome to One Writer’s Journal, Sandi, and thanks for your thoughts on what’s in a name.

What’s in a Name?
By Sandi Ansell

Anyone who has children has labored over the right name to give their unborn child. Books are written exclusively on the subject. Families have been torn apart because they have refused to pass on a name that has been in the family for generations. Young people, nowadays, seem to invent names that go way beyond the norm and are impossible to spell. A simple name like “Melissa,” can be turned into Malisa, Malicia, MeLyssa, just to name a few variations. And, all for what? So the kid can be called “Missy.”

My given name is “Sandra.” I never thought of myself as “Sandra.” It was a name that belonged to someone else. My mother only used it at those times when she was angry…very, very angry because I had done something she thought was very, very bad. It was a name that belonged to someone who was sick–when the nurse called me into the doctor’s office. It was a name that belonged to someone on formal occasions such as my graduation from high school and college. And, it was the name of the woman who bore my three children–despite my pleas for those in attendance to call me “Sandi.” It just seemed as though the pain would be less if we were on a less formal name basis. Now, Sandi, she is a fun loving warm person with a lot of personality. Sandra just sits there most of the time waiting to be called upon when the bank makes a mistake or the telephone company has overcharged us once again.

Can names really affect us that much? I tried very hard with my own children–and I have three–to use their names in a manner that wouldn’t allow for disparagy. But, I found that when I was really, really ticked at them for something, I called them by their first and last names and even though I had given them names that I loved, I also gave them…nicknames.

My oldest son’s name is Jonathan, but I called him Jon, most of the time. Why do we do that to children–give them a name and then call them something else? I knew better, having wrestled with that Sandra person all of my life. Anyway, Jon was an ornery little guy. And often, in exasperation, I would look at him and say “oh Jon.” He has an older sister–Melinda–whom call “Mindi.” One day I had to take Mindi to dance class–she was close to four at the time and Jon was nearing the age of two. I was pregnant with Jeffrey–who we then called Jeff or Moose–he weighed almost ten pounds at birth. Anyway, Jon and I were sitting in the small room outside Mindi’s dance class when a woman came through the door carrying a large package. The spring on the door was broken and because her hands were full, she allowed the door to slam, which it did with a loud bang. Jon jumped out of his seat and exclaimed loudly “oh Jon.” It was then I realized that the child thought his name was a declaration of annoyance.

I have seven siblings. When we get together, we sound like a bunch of hillbillies who have been at the moonshine. Shouts of “Hey Tats, whatcha been been doing lately?” “Tug?” “Where’s Willy Hen?” “Anybody know when Paulyott will be here?” Not to mention, Pokey, T-Dale, Hoopt and James Lee, which oddly enough is his real name, but used only when he’s being teased. I might add that these are highly successful people, ranging from policemen, government employees, salesmen/women and college graduates. And, where did these nicknames come from–adults like our parents and relatives…who themselves were subject to nicknames such as “Nellie” for Thelma, “Ted” for Chester and “Grace” for Mary.

So, where will it end? I suppose it won’t. Recently, I received a late night phone call from a friend who was going into the hospital for a planned c-section the next morning. She couldn’t decide on a name. Should it be…Lauren, McKenzie, Marissa or Elizabeth. After much debate, she was named Lauren. They call her “Bug.” So I ask you, what is in a name…actually, nothing.

Thanks, Sandi, for sharing your thoughts about what’s in a name. My folks named me such a little name, I couldn’t be nicknamed. Well, I take that back. I have some dear friends who sometimes call me Annie B. But I think Ann will do. Image may be NSFW.
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🙂

So how about you? Have a nickname? If so, do you like it? Did you nickname your kids? 

 


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